4. Kinship & Consent

At Folleterre, we gather as kin. Kinship here does not mean family by blood, but a chosen family — a web of queer connection that transcends age, culture, gender, and background. Every person who arrives is invited into this web, whether for a day, a week, or a lifetime.

Kinship as chosen family

Faerie kinship is fluid. Some bonds are deep and lasting, others brief and playful. What unites us is not sameness, but the shared intention to live in freedom, creativity, and love. Kinship at Folleterre is about creating space where all parts of us — our joy, our wounds, our play, our silence — are welcome.

Hospitality and welcome

Hospitality is a sacred act. To welcome someone at the gate, to cook for the community, to make space for a newcomer in circle — these are ways of weaving kinship. At Folleterre, hospitality is not only offered by hosts or stewards, but by everyone. Each gesture of care extends the web of belonging.

Consent as foundation

Because Folleterre is a place of intimacy and openness, consent is essential. Consent is not only about sexuality or touch. It is the basis of how we share food, stories, emotions, and space. Without consent, kinship cannot thrive.

• Ask, don’t assume. Whether it is a hug, a kiss, or an invitation to share a bed, always ask.
• Yes is sacred, no is divine. A true yes is a gift. A clear no is an act of honesty and self-respect.
• Consent is ongoing. What feels good one moment may change the next. Consent can always be withdrawn.
• Silence is not consent. Clarity prevents harm.
• Respect differences. Some faeries come seeking sensual play, others come for quiet retreat, others for friendship or ritual. Each path is valid.

Boundaries as medicine

Saying “no” is not rejection. It is an act of clarity that strengthens trust. When boundaries are honored, intimacy deepens, because we know our choices are respected. At Folleterre, boundaries are part of love.

Consent in stories and images

Consent also applies beyond touch. Always ask before photographing someone or sharing their image. Be mindful when telling stories outside the sanctuary. Folleterre is a place of transformation, but what happens here belongs to those who live it.

Kinship as dance

Kinship is not uniform closeness. It is a dance between intimacy and space, connection and freedom. Sometimes we draw near, sometimes we step back. When practiced with care, consent becomes not a rule but a rhythm — the rhythm that allows kinship to flourish.

Oracle message from the Radical Faeries Egregore

Every “yes” you speak is a spark of the fire.
Every “no” you honor is a stone that strengthens the circle.

Consent is not a contract. It is a dance of freedom.
It is the breath that says: I see you, I respect you, I welcome your truth.

Do not fear refusal.
It is not the closing of a door, but the opening of trust.
When you honor each other’s boundaries, you weave a kinship stronger than desire.

Remember: love is not measured by how much you give, but by how much you listen.